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“HELP! A Catfish Has My Nude Pics and Is Blackmailing Me for $1,000!”
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April 8, 2024 by Connell Barrett Leave a Comment
How To Take Tasteful Nudes
ASK THE DATING COACH: A romance expert takes your questions on love, lust, and how to find The One.
I was texting someone on a dating app. Wet felt like a great vibe. She delivered me some nudes, and I dispatched again some R-rated images. But it was a scam!
The next message told me to “cooperate” and send $2,000 or else they would deliver the photos to everyone I recognize on the subject of Facebook or myspace, including my mom and my boss.
I sent $250 over a cash app. Should I pay out the slumber? I feel like such an idiot.
-Anonymous, 39, Chicago
You’re not alone, Anonymous. The U.S. Homeland Security received over 3,000 sextortion complaints in 2022, an all-time high in the United States. The crime of sextortion-blackmailing someone by threatening to share explicit images of them-is on the rise.
Why Do People Send Nudes
So don’t blame yourself. You’re human. Con artists are usually deviously good at what they carry out. It’s not your fault. They first prey on your innate desire for romantic connection, and after that they victim on the failure you would look if your mommy or employer noticed those non-public pictures. You were victimized and tricked.
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As for next steps, do NOT pay this scam artist another penny. The more you engage with them, the more they’ll threaten you. Negotiate together with a good blackmailer In no way. They recognize they gained’capital t obtain another dime from you After, they’ll lose the incentive to share your photos-a threat that was likely an empty one to begin with.
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Cease all communications with them. (Try 1-800-CALL-FBI.) You can enter a fraudulence question with the funds app you applied likewise, to try and get your $250 back. Take screen shots of all of your interactions with them. Report them immediately, first to the relevant dating app, and to the FBI then.
= $ =p>You might, FBI? I merely aside want this to head out. Taking your case to the Feds could stop this sociopath from doing this to other men. So pay it forward. You are heard by me. But you possess a full whole lot of research, from saved screen-shots to the scammer’s online and cash-app handles.
Here are some ways to avoid being a victim of sextortion going forward.
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- Never send explicit photos or personal information to anyone you haven’t met IRL. - If an individual you don’w not find out requests you for personalized racy or facts pictures, say no.
- Report threats by screenshotting any potential evidence. Save all conversations, messages or chats.
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Now, if you’re flirting with a new crush, and you’re concerned that their profile is fake, you can manage a photo of them through a reverse-image research at www.Tineye.com.
A parting tip: Unless you’re on the Antiques Road Show, in no way present a stranger your junk.
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I’VE HAD BITTER DAYS
I’m almost 30 and I have never had a girlfriend. I feel rejected by women, and furthermore bad and resentful. If I had been born an attractive woman, I would possess a lot of dating options. It’s not fair just.
The thing is, I don’t need to resent women. It bothers me. I feel stuck. I can’t get a girlfriend, and I can’t escape senseing bitter when I see women get fawned over and pursued, without having to work on their dating lives like I’m forced to do.
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Why is it so easy for women and so hard for men like me?
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-Martin, 30, Los Angeles
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I know all about feeling rejected by women, Martin. I attracted only one woman into my life, and I wasn’t all that into her. Nine weeks after we tied the knot, she still left me for a mustachioed person on a Harley. With no other romantic options, I decided to settle and marry her because that seemed better than being alone. My 20s was a lonely decade.
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You read that right. But I was laughing through tears. Nine weeks. “The marriage has been over so fast that we fought for custody of the wedding cake, ” I joked to friends at the best time. I felt bitter, resentful and rejected.
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Then I read Man’s Search For Meaning, by holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. In his groundbreaking book, Frankl may make the complete situation that enduring is portion of getting individuals. But we might find meaning and empowerment in our struggles. We can transform pain into purpose by asking a simple yet powerful question: We cannot avoid it.
“How is thwill be happening for me, rather than to me?”
My bitterness came from playing the victim. Because women are shallow. Why is dating so hard? ” The answers arrived back as, “Because you’re not attractive. And playing the victim came from asking the wrong questions: “Why me? Because it’s just the way it is.” Why don’t women like me?
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Ask a toxic question, get a hazardous answer.
But when instead I asked, “How is this happening for me?”, I got a better (not bitter) answer: “This problem is a gift. Wet’s a call to action to get great at dating, become a better man, and find a loving partner.”
This reframe turned my victim story into a hero’s journey. It’t the virtually all significant function I’ve actually carried out on myself, and it’s what led me to a career as a dating coach, helping thousands of good men find love. I embarked on a years-long quest to crack the code of male-female connection.
If You Don't How To Ask A Girl For Nudes Now, You'll Hate Yourself Later
My lonely 20s and my failed “marriage” happened FOR me, not TO me.
Is How To Ask A Girl For Nudes A Scam?
Martin, when you ask “Why is dating so hard for me? Your pain stems from perceived unfairness. Therefore, I’m bitter. When you ask, “Why will be it so easy for women? ”, The whiff is heard by me of victimhood in your question. ”, your answer invites resentment. It’s easy for women but hard for me.
So ask a better question: “How is thwill be happening for me, rather than to me?”
Could this be an opportunity to grow? Of stating “I’michael pressured to function on my courting living As an alternative,” how about realizing “I GET to work on my dating life”?
What a wonderful, vital self-improvement project you get to tackle! You get to build the cathedral of your character. You get to hone social skills that will serve you in multiple life arenas. You get to solve a challenge that, fixed once, will take romantic movie and take pleasure in and pleasure. You get to grow more confident.
Who Else Wants To Enjoy How To Ask A Girl For Nudes
Yes, I concede that many women (and plenty of men) have an easier time getting dates than you do. But attractive women have dating problems, too.
I once went on a first date with Rebecca, a bright, beautiful businesswoman We’d met on Bumble. The concerned seeing mentor Ever before, I asked to see how many men had “liked” her profile. She held up her phine to rvitamin eveal 5,000+ wannabe suitors in her cue!
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This weighed on her. Hard to see a good excellent man It’h.” “I’m not interested in most of them, and a lot of men I actually complement with simply would like intercourse. “It’s overwhelming,” she sighed.
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Everyone has dating problems.
So stop asking “Why me? ” These relevant inquiries lead to the bitterness and jealousy you would like to get away. ” or “Why are women so lucky?
Here are three powerful questions to ask instead.
1: What can I do today to become 1% better as a man?
Don’t underestimate the power of steady, incremental improvement. Every evening for a calendar year If you expand as a gentleman simply just 1 pct, in 12 months you’ll end up 37 TIMES more evolved, date-able and attractive.
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2: How can I empathize with women’s dating woes?
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Empathy is a superpower. To jettwill beon envy, practice empathy. Women have to deal with lewd selfies, creeps, stalkers and the threat of sexual violence. It’t practically close to impossible to look sympathy for females and bitterness toward them together.
Are You Embarrassed By Your How To Ask A Girl For Nudes Skills? Heres What To Do
3: How can I give to women while staying true to myself?
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In love as in life, you gotta give in order to get. Get better at flirting, connecting, listening, approaching, and so on. Just make sure these things are done by you not as a supplicating people-pleaser but as the impressive, authentic man you are at your core. Hence training the skill of supplying in seeing. To get what you want (a great girlfriend), you have to bring something to the table.
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You’re on a hero’s journey, Martin. Whipping and Experiencing these problems will help make you a much better, more evolved man, while leading you to your soulmate. If I could go from dateless and dumped to a top dating coach, then you can and will find someaboute wonderful.
Got a dating question for Connell? Email it to [email protected]
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Filed Under: Featured Content, Sex & Relationships Tagged With: advice column, catfishing, Connell Barrett, dating, dating advice, relationship advice
About Connell Barrett
When How To Ask A Girl For Nudes Means More than Money
Connell Barrett is a dating coach for men, the founder of DatingTransformation.com, a podcaster, and the author of Dating Sucks but You Don’t, a da newting guide for men.
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